This Series will focus on marriage. I will share some of the ups and downs that my husband and I have gone through, things we have learned, and advice that we have been given that I think is beneficial for others to hear!
Lent is here again!
Honestly speaking, Lent has typically been a hard time for me in the past, as I’m sure it has been for others. I struggle to find something to do for Lent; something that will be difficult for me, but will help me grow in my faith. And then, once I’ve figured out what I am going to do, as soon as Ash Wednesday comes, I’m doubting my choice, sometimes looking for loopholes. Temptation hits me a lot harder, knowing that I cannot do these things that I usually do, like snacking throughout the day, or I fill my time with other things and I forget to do my extra prayer time.
Lent can be so hard!
But Lent is so necessary.
Lent is the time when we should pause in our busy lives and find ways to build our relationship with God. To stop and look for the things in our lives that keep us from God. To overcome the bad habits that keep us in sin. To change the negative attitudes we have about the people around us, or life itself, and focus more on the positive things that God has given to us.
Lent is a time of re-shifting and re-focusing for us. To look at our values and priorities, and to make sure they are in the right place. To look at our relationships and see if they are heading in the direction they should be. That we are heading in the direction that God is calling us.
For married couples, our job is to help our spouse get to heaven (which some days can seem rather daunting)! One way we can do that is by helping them with their Lenten practices, or by doing some Lenten practices together. Like I said before, when Lent arrives, I see temptation everywhere. Some years I have not lasted more than a week or two with my chosen Lenten practice. But when someone else is doing a Lenten practice with you, it is so much easier to see it through.
For all those who are in a relationship, whether married or dating, if you have siblings, parents, or friends, this is my advice for you. Do something for Lent with someone else.
I am married, so naturally, I will talk about Lent through the lens of marriage.
Nathan and I have been married for almost 4 years, and for each of those Lenten seasons, we have chosen to do something together. I was the one who pushed it initially, but now it is something that we plan together.
This year we are:
No Snacking and No Pop: Nathan and I enjoy have small snacks after work, or snacks while we watch movies. Because most of our snacking is done together, now that both of us have stopped, it’s not as bad as if only one of us had. Nathan also loves pop, and sometimes we would have a pop with a movie, or with our supper. Again, it’s easier to not do it when we are doing it together.
Doing a Daily Lenten Reflection: I was given a short daily reflection book for Lent with daily readings, reflections, mediations, and a prayer each day. Nathan and I already say prayers before we go to sleep, so adding this to our nightly routine doesn’t take a lot of adjustment to do.
Praying a Daily Rosary: If you have read my “I Was Given a List” post, you’ll remember that a priest told us to say the rosary for 90 days to spiritually help us with my condition. After those 90 days, we kept saying the rosary every time we drove together, but we stopped saying it if we didn’t go for a long enough drive, or if we didn’t leave the house. For Lent, we are saying the rosary more intentionally, but also on those days when we maybe wouldn’t have.
30 Minutes of Adoration on Fridays: I work at a Catholic Church, and every Friday we have adoration after morning Mass for an hour. I usually stay in adoration for 30 minutes, sometimes less if I’m busy that day, but during Lent, Nathan and I are making a point of staying in adoration for the full 30 minutes and praying together.
Each of the things on our list, even though it seems like a lot, already fits into our schedule. We are adding to what we already do, are doing things more intentionally, and cutting out things together. These things are still hard, and some days we need to force ourselves to get out of our usual schedules, but it is easier doing them together. It also helps us grow in our relationship with each other. The added prayers help keep our faith at the forefront of our marriage, and the cutting out snacking and pop allows us to hold the other accountable.
Another thing to note is that when Nathan and I first started doing things for Lent together, we didn’t do 4 big things. We found things that already worked in our schedules, and we started small.
My best friend and I, last year and this year, have been praying together during Lent. Last year, we said the same novena on our own, but prayed the last prayer together, along with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. We FaceTimed once a week (roughly), prayed and then caught up.
This year, we are FaceTiming daily to pray our novenas together, and will still say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy on the last day of the novena.
So, for those of you who have a hard time with Lent, or want to start doing something with your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/sibling/parent, here is what I would recommend (feel free to take it or leave it):
Start small: If you haven’t done something with someone before, don’t overwhelm yourself. Start with something simple, and if you want, add something else every week of Lent so that your small Lenten practice is a big Lenten practice by the time Easter hits.
Do something that already works with your schedule: If you are going to do something with someone else, make sure you will always have the time to do it. Is there a quiet time before you go to bed that you and your spouse can add some prayer time in? Do you and your friend have the same lunch break? Do you both drive home at the same time - can you call on your drive home?
Find something that both of you want to work on: Learn more about and have a devotion to a saint? Research and pray together! Want to stop drinking alcohol so much? Do it together!
Lent doesn’t have to be hard, difficult, or demanding. Yes, it should be fulfilling, meaningful, and bring you closer to Christ. Whatever you choose to do for Lent should bring you closer to Christ, and if you are doing it with someone else, it should also build your relationship with that person.
I pray that all of you have a great Lent!
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